Throughout my life, many Christmas mysteries have intrigued me. Like how come Saint Nicholas, a man originally from Turkey, became so synonymous with the North Pole. Or what are elves and reindeer like? But out of all the Christmas stories and legends, one stands out beyond the rest; the mystery of Christmas delivers so many presents. Does Santa do it all by himself? Does he have a little helper? Or is there something else magical, happening behind the scenes spreading both presents and Christmas cheer?

There are many rumors and myths surrounding the true number of the most amounts of presents delivered. But what I taught in school was that the record for the most Christmas presents was six million. Six million presents…do you believe that? And I was also taught that it was all pinned on one man, Santa Claus.  I’ve always thought to myself that there’s no way Santa could’ve delivered THAT many presents, in such a short amount of time. I mean it’s just impossible.

This record is believed to be set during the Christmas of central Europe in the early-mid twentieth century. How ever the present delivery number for this place and era is actually much lower than that. Apparently, it happened when an evil reindeer, with a bright nose and a tiny mustache more famous than Santa’s beard came to power in the herd, known as Rudolf Antler, through the use of public speaking. Rumors have it that this Reindeer heart was so cold simply because he couldn’t follow his dream and become a Christmas card painter

The true number would be closer to a quarter million at most, during this time. However, historians have been caught fabricating stories and falsifying numbers of presents through the use of media, so it’s as if no one noticed. Then they started teaching about the high number of Christmas presents deliveries as well, about thirty years later. Many Christmas movies were also produced about it.

China and Russia both had Christmas present deliveries, that paled in comparison to 6 million.

Most people assume that the reason Santa is able to do all of this is because of some sort of magic powers, unfortunately this is just due to propaganda pushed by the Christmas movie industry. If we have a closer look at the north pole, there seems to be something working behind the scenes.

This curiosity struck me at a young age. When I was a kid, I used to stay up, on Christmas night, so as to get a chance to meet Chriss cringle. This curiosity drove me to start saving money, from a young age, so I could fund my own personal voyage to the North Pole. As I grew up, I heard more stories about how dangerous traveling to the North Pole could be, but that didn’t stop me from seeing what was dabbling behind the scenes of this idea we have of Christmas.

When I told people where I was going, they told me I was crazy. It seemed like no one was jolly to hear my idea of visiting Santa. Most people told me I would only find myself in the middle of a frozen tundra, starving and freezing to death. Some said no one lived in the artic accept polar bears, seals, and penguins. Some said I would fall off the edge. Some said I might find the lost city of Hyperborea. Some people even went so far as to tell me that Santa isn’t even real. After much contemplation, my mind was set on traveling to the north pole.

I later found out, through strangers on the internet, that Santa hardly had a say during these deliveries. This rumor of 6 million present delivery numbers appears to just be a myth, started by a group of being known as elves to make people believe Santa delivered the most presents during Christmas.  The elves are so humble that they even play down their own present delivery number, just to make Santa stand out more.

This interesting fact made me so curious, to the point of wanting to travel to the North Pole to study the elves myself. I know the North Pole isn’t the nicest place in the world but before finding a home in the North Pole, elves were expelled from 109 (111) different countries. But it should be noted in all the times of exile, it was never the elves’ fault.   So, I traveled off to the artic to study these unique characters, known as “elves.”

The voyage to the North Pole was very cold and snowy, but my passion for adventure kept me warm as I traveled. Upon arrival at the North Pole, the first place I went to was to the city of Tinsel Town. Tinsel Town is the main city in the North Pole, it’s known as Santa’s wonderland. However, it didn’t take long to realize that everything wasn’t as jolly as it used to be in Tinsel Town. It didn’t seem to be the same place. It seemed as if there wasn’t a day that goes by, where we weren’t hearing about something worthy of being put on the naughty list, in Tinsel Town.

Santa even had his own sled broken into by abominable snowman with them taking all the presents. After walking around, I asked for comments from a passerby regarding the shake up in Tinsel Town, to see if I could learn more.

After talking to a few other people, some were quick to point out the problems caused by abominable snowman, however as the conversation grew, and random strangers started became friends, they started telling me about the truth about the Elves. I heard a story about how a seemly harmless group of magical beings were secretly working behind the scenes and causing all these naughty deeds. I honestly couldn’t believe it at first, since elves are known as humble and hardworking people, or so the Christmas industry makes them out to be. Yeah, they might have their own strange traditions, but the ones I’ve talked to before had always seemed nice to me. Maybe that was a lie. I always knew that they did have some negative stereotypes, but from what I see in the media, these were all fallacies. I was quick to bring this up, with nothing more than the response: “The Elf cries out in pain as he strikes you” I was appalled to hear this, when I first heard this. I quickly attempted to leave the conversation, and went to find an elf, to talk to, for myself. However, after stating my contrary intention to the conversation, my attention was grabbed once again, only for me to be told to be “Cautious.”

Another person I was talking to who worked at Santa’s factory told me that, “One may call him a bad toy maker, a lazy worker, devoid of Christmas cheer, it all runs off him like snow off a winter jacket. But call him or her an elf.” and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been put on the naughty list.”

With how famous and well known they are, I was surprised to find out that there were so very few of them, compared to the rest of the North Polian population, yet the get represented as such a large part of it.

However, when I finally did get a chance to meet an elf, I asked questions to learn more about them, from their own perspective. I was stunned when I got the response I got:

“The North Pole isn’t going to be the monolithic society we saw in the last century. Elves are going to be at the center of that. It’s a huge transformation for the North Pole to make – they are now going into multicultural mode. And elves will be resented because of our leading role, but without that leading role and without that transformation Christmas will not survive.”

Out of curious nature, I sat back down and began to solicit more information from the same strangers, I talked to before.  I was first told that before I meet any elves, that I should first know how the elves view themselves:

Elves are just Santas helpers and are incapable of doing anything wrong. Even though some may accuse elves of bad behavior, none of these accusations are ever true. And to think so is consider “antielvetic.” We all know that there is nothing worse than being called that. The elf is immunized against all dangers.

After talking to the elves, and gaining their trust, they then went to explain to me why they were so influential. They told me about their work ethic, and how because of this work ethic, they built all these different businesses and workshops in the North Pole. Interestingly enough I was stunned to see how vast their portfolio was, especially for being only two percent of the total population of the North Pole. Elves own a majority of the cookie bakeries, stocking stickers, toy assembly lines, and sled manufacturers.

Elves are also heavily involved in making Christmas movies and Christmas catalogs. They understand the effect that Christmas movies have on the holiday spirit with their Elvish Christmas content explicitly has on the moral and Christmas spirit of the average person. Elves are involved in more holiday aspects than you might realize. However, the elves say this has to do with their hard work ethic, which is part of their culture. However others from the North Pole usually calls this elvish privilege, which is considered wrong…by elves.

As a good researcher, I knew how important it was to study both sides of the dilemma before making a solid opinion.  But after many years, of the elves’ growing influence on the businesses of the north pole, there were very few workshops owned by the non-elves.  So, I went down to the library to see what information I could find on an old industrialist. If there was one man who stood out to me it was a sleigh maker from the past known as Enry Ord, the same man who built Santa’s sleigh, as well as many other snow worthy vehicles. Enry wasn’t just known for his sleds, but also for the way he ran his workshop. Mr. Ord went above and beyond to make his workshop one of the most reliable and efficient workshops in the North Pole. In return he was able to improve working conditions and wages for his sled builders. This angered the elves so much that another sled maker, owned by two brothers who were elves, known as the Odge brothers, tried to sue Henry. The Odge brothers, which Henry was trying to dodge, tried suing Enry Ord, for being kind to his own workers. After the lawsuit, Enry Ord got quoted as saying how the international elf is the world’s foremost problem. He even went so far, as to make sure to let everyone know why the elves were on the naughty list, by giving away a free copy of “The Protocols of the Elders of Pixieland” This was a book is probably the most influential work of anti-elveticism ever written.”

After interviewing and research, I’ve come to the conclusion that, these elves are viewed as the problem, but from what I saw and heard it seemed like something different was also causing mischief, in the North Pole, the abdominal snow man. I wish I could refer to them as “Yetis,” for short but that’s deemed offensive, by the elves, for non-snowmen to say. Interestingly enough, in the music of the Abominable snowmen, they use that same word, and in conversation… “Yeti.” Elves are very fond of Abominable Snowmen. They were the very first group to bring them to the North Pole and use them for forced labor. After a while, all the abdominal snowmen where all set free, to roam North Pole’s society, unchained. It wasn’t too long after that, that all the places that abominable snowmen occupied became violent and unsafe. For only an eighth of the North Pole’s population, abominable snowmen committed over half of the naughty list acts. Yet the elves keep telling the abominable snowmen that they are only abomination because of Santa kin. And the abominable snowman men still believe it is Santa kin’s fault for their naughty list numbers being so high.

While on my travels, around the North Pole, something horrible happened two sleighs crashed into the tinsel towers. But get this… only two sleighs crashed, yet three toy towers, were knocked over. How does that happen? You’d have to ask Arry Ilverstein, also known as “Lucky.” He got a massive insurance payout, and a new toy tower out of the deal. Some say they even saw elves dancing in the street after the two sleigh crashes.

Elves have been knocked off of at least 109 111shelves? Somehow, they always end up climbing back on and making rules about knocking them off again. And they always display the same voracious pixie tricks that got them knocked off the shelf in the first place. Many have suggested that it’s simply time to take the shelf down.

Maybe it’s true that elves can’t create but can only corrupt. I know being anti-elvetic is wrong, but it’s denying so many things. In meantime We must secure the existence of our reindeer and a future for Santa’s workshop. “You must understand, the leading Elves who took over the North Pole hated Santa. They hated Christmas.

People think elves trying to replace Santa kin is a new thing. It isn’t. They’ve actually been working on it longer than you know. They might act and dress like Santa, but they wear a small hat instead. The elf convinces Santa that they are part of his people, and that Santa should hate his own heritage, but the elf is very different from Santa.

Elves even call themselves snowmen when it suits them, but then they are elves when they don’t want to be associated with snowmen.

I feel like the Elves are massively overplaying their hands and Santa is going to kick their butts into touch at some point. The existence of Santa kin and a future for Santa’s children must be secured.

Keep Studying about elves, you’ll find out Rudolf Antler was right.